For those of you that watched Rob Halford receive the Grammy for Best Metal Performance, it felt like it was long overdue. For others, it was a disappointment that their band didn’t win. And for another group of people, it felt like an exercise in tedium watching all four-thousand categories of music before finally getting to the metal category. Personally, I think there are too many fucking categories. Best Tropical Latin Album? Best Album Notes? Best Contemporary Jazz Album By A 58-Year Old Man Named Herman? Okay, that last one wasn’t real, but you get my point.

It was a total bitter-sweet victory. Sweet in the sense that Judas Priest got a Grammy, bitter in the sense that it took like 15 seconds for it to be over. You see, in the pre-show Grammy blitzkrieg, you’re supposed to run down and grab the award and then get the hell off stage. Why? Because there are several thousand awards they have to hand out. Maybe that’s an indication that there are too many categories! Not only are there too many categories, they don’t even have the right categories! Best Heavy Metal Performance but no Best Heavy Metal Album? What the hell is that shit?

On the other hand, I would be beyond stoked to win a Grammy. Sure, a lot of it is politics and bullshit, and the richest, most popular musician ends up even more popular and more rich. But, it is the biggest music awards ceremony in the world, and there actually were some pretty notable metal bands being recognized. Even if the category was stupid as hell. So, I ask all of you: